I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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