Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
