if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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