Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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