Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Even my vagina gasped.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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