The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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