look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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