do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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