Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
