I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Randomize
