People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
