she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
