i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
