Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
