i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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