90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I need to align my fucking chakras
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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