The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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