So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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