She's JV to your varsity
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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