it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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