But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
