hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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