she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
