yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My pussy is not your playground.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
