i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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