Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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