I must be too annoying 4 u.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
