You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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