maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
