I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize