i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
