ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
