He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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