i just wanna soil my oats bro
...so i touched it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
