What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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