Your mouth is God's brothel.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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