Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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