it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
