Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
