Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
