in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
