She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
