u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize