Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
