She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize