Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Randomize
