Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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