Kiss
Puke
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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