shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
