I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize