Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
