So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
