I CAN MOONWALK!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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