Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
