It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
