There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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