Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm at about main and main street
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i now understand why vodka
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
