i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
