so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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