Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
