I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
