So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
