Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
