I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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