i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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