therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
