hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Blood and glitter go together right?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
