dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
