I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
