I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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