What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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