have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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