I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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