We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he shaved USA in his pubs
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
