just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
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